We live in society, surrounded by people, daily interacting with people and creating social, emotional and professional relationships during our lifetime.
And, we, all, have different needs, dreams, expectations, different forms of feeling, thinking, reacting and showing our emotions.
That's why emotional intelligence is so important - it helps us to deal better with our emotions, other's emotions and, therefore, to live better in society.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Is a term created by the researchers Peter Salavoy and John Maye.
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, express and control our emotions as they happen in form of behavior, realising how they affect us and others.
Especially, when we are under pressure - that is when we need it the most.
And, when we understand how we and others feel, we can handle our relationships more empathetically, tactfully and fulfilling.
What are the Benefits of developing our Emotional Intelligence?
- Personal development
- Ability to listen
- Knowing ourselves better
- Knowing our triggers and how to handle them
- Ability to easily express ourselves and clearly communicate
- Working better in team
- Connecting with our feelings
- Strengths relationships
- Helps to adapt to changing circumstances
- Helps to neutralize conflict
- Taking responsibility for our emotions
- Neutralizes toxic people without creating enemies
- Assertiveness
- Motivates others
- Helps to succeed professionally
- Ability to understand and empathize with others
- Ability to sense the emotional needs of others
- Helps to perceive emotions in faces
- Realizes that initial reactions are driven by emotions
- Ability to not get angry and stressed
- Ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution
Signs that we lack Emotional Intelligence
- Feeling stressed and anxious easily
- Inability to identify how we feel
- Making irrational choices
- Acting and reacting impulsively
- Often feeling misunderstood
- Getting angry
- Feeling depressed
- Losing control
- Easily offended
- Blaming other people for how they make us feel
How to develop our Emotional Intelligence?
Everybody experiences emotions, but not many understand or control them. On the contrary, they are controlled by their emotions.
But, we can develop skills to understand ourselves and others and use them wisely.
The first step is to perceive emotions
- Listen to what people tell you. Try not to interrupt.
- Pay attention to their face expressions and body language.
- Imagine how you would feel in their situation. "Experiencing" things from someone else's point of view, helps to understand their thoughts and actions.
The second step is to understand your emotions
- Reflect about how your emotions influence your decisions and behaviors.
- What are your triggers?
- Observe how you interact and react to people.
- What nonverbal messages are you sending to people?
- What are your strengths and weaknesses?
- How do you react to stressful situations?
- Do you blame others or get angry with them, when things don't go your way?
- Are you flexible to change in your life?
- Do you have difficulties in saying "no" to people?
- Do you seek attention for your accomplishments?
The last step is to learn from your previous reflexion and learn to manage your emotions
- Try to understand why this person is feeling this way.
- Realize what you are feeling and how it can affect your thoughts and behaviors.
- Imagine how your actions will affect others, before taking those actions. Put yourself in their place.
- Disagreements are inevitable as we are all different people. However, it can be perceived as an opportunity to get to know the other's perspective and learn from it. It doesn't need to be a battle of egos.
- Learn techniques to help you to manage stress and negative emotions, like:
- Deep breathing
- Make a pause or go for a walk, to avoid actions that you will regret later.
- Humour
- Meditation
- Practice humility.
These techniques allows everyone to calm their emotions and think more rationally about it.
We are all different, but there is something we all have in common: we are driven by our emotions, our feelings - what make us happy or unhappy.
